 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: For a period, when my kids were little, my husband and I were completely broke and could not afford any of our preferred child-care options. My in-laws very generously stepped up to watch two kids under age 4, three times a week, for about a year. This was not what I had hoped for in the way of child care. We do not agree with a lot of their views, including their politics or their lack of interest in early child education, and I worried a lot about what they might teach my kids, but as I said — we were broke, and I knew at least the kids would be safe and loved. It ended when my older son started public school and we found a great nanny-share for the younger child. I know I probably sound dismissive of my in-laws and their views, but take my word for it that I was nothing but gracious and grateful and have tried to make a habit of always being extra generous with them in return. But they cannot seem to stop "calling in" this old debt. Usually it is simply pressuring us into visits that aren't convenient, but during covid they pressured us to drive 50 miles to their home to wave and have yelling conversations from the car. We tried numerous times to help them use teleconferencing platforms so we could have face-to-face conversations without having to drive, but they refused to accommodate us in that small way. This has led me to realize that whenever my in-laws want something, they default to reminding us (subtly or not-so-subtly) about that period when we were entirely dependent on them to keep our family running. How do we get out of that cycle with them? If there is any way, at this point. — In Unpayable Debt | 
