 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Dear Carolyn: My daughter is 18 and is transgender. Because of her privacy and her timeline for affirming her identity before college, we kept it to ourselves for about five years. She has been taking hormones now for about a year. We recently "came out" to our family and friends privately and then posted a few pictures with her new name, all of which was decided as a family. We were all feeling great that it is finally out and she can begin to present as the person she is. Most people have been loving and supportive, but a few people, who are close family members, have been asking questions or making statements to me like, "I thought she would look different," "Why is she still wearing 'guy' clothes?" or "Do YOU see a big change in her appearance?" I began to explain that transitioning is a long and personal process, she might not feel comfortable wearing certain clothes yet, she may never wear things that YOU think are "girly," but I am exhausted and it's hurtful because I know how self-conscious my daughter is. Luckily I am the buffer and my daughter does not hear these hurtful things, but why do people think it's okay to say these things to her mother? What can I say? I struggle with whether it is my role to try to educate people. We have all been through a lot and my daughter hates any focus on her appearance. — Always a Mama Bear | 
