 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My stepdaughter is 17 and came to live with us after her mother kicked her out (and then her mom moved across the country and has pretty much cut ties). She's a troubled kid. Her mom is totally self-involved to the point of neglect. Her dad, my husband, has been away often for the military in places where communication is difficult. They divorced when the kid was 13. The kid loves pot. And smoking. Both of which her dad does not approve of. I am an ex-smoker so I get the addiction and we've been countering that with nicotine gum. But she went out for a walk, got some pot from a friend (no idea how she paid for it), came home and was smoking in her room. Her father feels like a failure. She has a gloom-and-doom attitude toward everything. I'm so angry at her for putting all of us through this. What do we do? How do we help? She has a therapist and is on medication for depression, anxiety and attention-deficit disorder. It's a mess. I'm so sad for both of them. — Sad | 
