| I grew up with an art teacher as a mother. So when I would try to draw something and it just didn't look right, she would gently show me how to draw it - a trick, a hint, a patient "okay, now you do it." She wasn't full of empty praise, because she was a born teacher. She liked to push me along to try harder, to learn how to do something, at least on art projects. I'm no artist, but I still remember her lessons when my sons and I draw together. "Remember how Grandma used to say I should fill the whole page?" one of my boys will mention as he's working on a project. Oh, I do, kiddo. "That's fine, but there's so much white space," my mother would say when I was young. "Keep going!" The boys in my house aren't so much into art and drawing these days, but little parenting nuggets from my mother sometimes pop into my head and remind me that endless "Oh, that's beautiful!" or "What a brilliant essay!" or even a "Wow, that was a great try!" hold little water if you hear it over and over. And if it's not entirely true. Sometimes, I watch as my husband shows the kids to knead the dough a little longer, or explains why one part of their bread loaf is not quite right. He reminds them to go toward the ground ball, or hold up that elbow as they swing. I see them nod; I watch them take it in. And next time, they dive in with a different tack. When I think about how kids actually learn and persevere, I realize I need to sometimes curb the praise. That's why I love this piece that breaks down the ways we can help our kids' self-efficacy, while letting them feel loved and supported. It helps to remember I never questioned my mother's love for me, and I learned to fill that white space with a lot of color. | By Laurie McGinley, Carolyn Y. Johnson and Yasmeen Abutaleb ● Read more » | | | |
Parenting in a Pandemic These are challenging times for any parent to navigate. Let On Parenting help. Below you'll find a selection of expert advice and personal stories for all types of parents. To keep up with The Post's best advice for living through a lockdown, including recipes to make, shows to watch, the best socializing apps, resources for parents, guidance for managing anxiety and tips for canceled trips, bookmark Your Life at Home. And the latest on school reopenings can be found on The Post's Education page. For vaccinated parents with unvaccinated kids | Vaccinated adults may have more freedom. But for kids, 'the rules haven't changed.' For parents dealing with virtual school | Strategies to improve distance learning | Tips for creating a good learning environment at home | How parents can avoid anxiety around distance learning For parents dealing with in-person school | How to help children adjust to masks, according to experts and parents | As kids move from quarantine to school, separation anxiety may follow. Here's how to help. For parents working from home | 6 strategies for parents struggling with work-from-home interruptions For parents looking ahead to post-pandemic life | The pandemic changed everything about family
life. These are the parts parents want to keep. |
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