(Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Barring changes to the laws of physics, my older sister and I age at the same rate. We are both in our late 40s, but you'd never know it. She has always been visibly and vocally uncomfortable with my choices and milestones. When I got a solo in a school musical, she threw a tantrum. When I joined debate, she cried for a day. When she found out I had my first kiss (14), shaved my legs (14), had sex (19), and went on a road trip to NYC (20), she "told on me" to my parents. Her behavior shows no signs of stopping. When I was 28, I did a last-minute flight to Paris with friends. The very next day, my sister conferenced my mother into a call to berate me for putting myself at risk for rape and kidnapping. When I got engaged at 33, she tried to intervene. Same as when we bought our house. When I got pregnant at 36, she called me irresponsible and reckless. My mother insists that's how my sister shows she cares. My sister still calls herself my "co-parent," which apparently never stops when the kid grows up. I never cared about my sister's choices as kids or adults. Who cares what graduate school she picks? But she felt compelled to convene a family meeting to discuss mine. ("It's too far away, and you're not responsible enough.") The irony is my sister's theatrics never change the outcome of my choices. How do I get the people in my family to "stop caring so much"? I've tried "why do you care/need to know?" and "this is not your business" with no luck. — One Too Many Sisters |