(Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Dear Carolyn: Our family has always been very tightknit. This has been tested in recent years, following my brother's marriage to a woman we believe has intentionally created rifts between us. Our last living grandparent passed away after a lengthy illness. Even though we knew it was coming, it was a huge blow to our entire extended family, as she was truly our rock. She was always kind and welcoming to my sister-in-law, of course. For the funeral, my sister and I packed up our families and spent the weekend planning the service and reminiscing with family members. My brother was the only grandchild not present. He came the day of the funeral. His wife and three young children were not with him, and we overheard him giving various excuses for their absence ("We have so much going on"). Their absence was very conspicuous. After the service, our brother apparently got a call from his wife — I wasn't there — berating him for losing track of time and not leaving earlier, to pick up their child from sports practice. He high-tailed it out of there. We're all hurt and confused. My sister-in-law apparently texted my parents to express her condolences. Several cousins and friends asked us why they weren't there, and we had no satisfactory explanation. It felt like a slap in the face. I'm still fuming. Is there any way I can express to her how disappointed, hurt and angry we were (or at least, I was) by her seeming callousness toward my grandmother, who welcomed her with open arms? Is this appropriate? My therapist suggested years ago that my sister-in-law may be a narcissist. Does constructive criticism get through to people like that? — Grieving and [Ticked] Off |