 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Dear Carolyn: My in-laws recently came over to watch our new baby while I went to the doctor for a postpartum checkup, and when I got home — dead tired and looking forward to a quiet house — they offered to stay for the rest of the afternoon. I tried saying, "No, thank you. You were very helpful this morning, but I'm sure you are tired, too." I tried saying, "No, thank you. I'd just like to rest in quiet with the baby." I tried, "You know, I need a little alone time." But they kept offering ("It's no trouble. We can just sit in your living room while you nap and be very quiet") until finally I said, "I would like you to leave. Please leave now." At that point, they were offended, and I felt terrible for offending them. But I don't know what else to do. They don't seem to pick up on typical social cues, and this type of thing happens all the time — repeatedly offering me an unwanted gift until I flatly say, "I do not like gold, I will never use this and will end up giving it away." Am I being rude, or being direct? Should I do something different next time? I hate offending them, but it feels like my choices are to offend them or to be bulldozed into something I don't want. — Rude vs. Direct? |
