| Last week, I did something that has become exceedingly rare for me during the pandemic. I went out for a sit-down lunch to catch up with a friend and colleague I hadn't seen since March 2020. We chatted about work, our families, what the past months have taught us about how we want to spend our time and energy, and I came home feeling happy and uplifted to have reinvigorated that connection. I also felt lucky. You know that phrase about friends – we hadn't seen each other in ages, but we picked up right where we left off? The pandemic has proved that, for many relationships – including some of mine – that's wishful thinking. Vaccinated people eager to reconnect after months of distancing have found that some friends they thought would always be there aren't. Or that getting together is unexpectedly awkward and tiring. Or that maybe they don't have as much in common as once thought. For the truly unfortunate, differences in opinion about the events over the past 19 months – the pandemic, the election, racial violence – have resulted in tattered relationships that will be difficult to ever piece back together. This week, freelance writer Allie Volpe addresses some of those issues in her article, "The pandemic has been hard on friendships. Here's how to reconnect," and I learned a lot. For example, did you know that research shows it takes more than 200 hours of time spent with a person to consider them a close friend? I've you've put that much time into a relationship, it's likely worth reviving. And Allie has tips for reconnecting. The one I found most intriguing is to automate your friendships. "Whether a monthly book club or weekly workout class," she wrote, "knowing when and where you'll see a friend eliminates most of the legwork required in scheduling a get-together." Coincidentally, the same advice showed up last week, in freelance writer Stacey Colino's story about the overwhelming number of decisions we must make each day. "The trick is to automate a lot about your life, so you don't have to make so many decisions," one of her experts told her. For example, use the same grocery list every week. Automation isn't something that immediately comes to my mind as a wellness strategy, but, as these stories show, it's a way we can make our lives not just simpler (grocery lists), but richer (friendships). The way I see it, automating a friendship does more than take the stress out of arranging to see someone. It means that you have chosen to weave them into the fabric of your life, and they have done the same with you. And that can only strengthen your bond. Take care. |
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