(Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Is there really always another bus? I am 65 and would probably dump my boyfriend, except my chances of ever replacing him are slim to none. I was online for many years — with no good results — before we rekindled an old romance. I hadn't seen him in 30 years. We had lived together for one year back in 1983-84. For the most part he's a good boyfriend. He's affectionate, very helpful, generous, great sex partner, cooperative, funny. But when he's angry, he becomes verbally explosive and abusive. The things he says suggest he really doesn't like me, deep down. I'm very middle class, white collar, professional, highly educated. He has a high school diploma and is in construction. We have value differences that I believe make it hard to get along at times. That being said, as wonderful as I think I am, I don't believe I would find someone else at this age, as I've tried and it didn't happen. If I leave him, I'd give up a good sex life, a helpmate, someone who "has my back." Essentially, I'd be alone. Which typically is okay with me, but as I get older I think it might be of benefit to have someone in my corner. (And yes, I know people die.) We tried couples therapy and he walked out during Session 6. He's now in individual therapy. I've had a therapist most of my life. As I write this, it seems like I need to ask myself, can I tolerate his tantrums on occasion to compensate for the all the benefits of the relationship? And did I say, he's very handsome and I enjoy just looking at him? Too good to leave? Too bad to stay? — Another Bus? |