| My father, mother, cousin and I had just watched a beautiful sunrise over the ocean in Rehoboth Beach, Del., and stopped by a coffee shop. It was a clear, sunny morning, and we were rising from the table to enjoy the rest of the day when we noticed that my father seemed to be having trouble getting balanced behind his walker. It took a few moments to realize that he was having a stroke, and then it took what seemed to take a lifetime for the ambulance to get there. And because he had a stroke away from home, on a weekend and during a pandemic (Dad hit a trifecta here), we have had a lot to cope with. As I write this, it's been a very long week and a half, and it's looking like my father, who is 83, will be moving from the hospital to rehab soon to work on recovering. I've learned a few things along the way, and because writing and sharing information is the way I cope, here they are, though I sincerely hope no readers experience anything like this situation. We've published articles to this point before, but I can't emphasize enough how important it is to get emergency treatment if you are having a stroke. Don't hesitate to go to an emergency room out of fear of the coronavirus, because time is of the essence. You will need a CT scan to determine what kind of stroke you are having: ischemic (blood clot) or hemorrhagic (bleed). In the case of the former, doctors might use a blood thinner; in the case of the latter, a blood thinner could worsen the stroke and kill you. It's a good idea to have a list of all your medications and doctors' contacts with you at all times. When the EMTs asked us what medications and dosages my father takes, we had to call my cousin's daughter back at our vacation house and ask her to take photos of his medication bottles. Make a list and put it in your wallet. It will save a lot of time and ensure that you aren't given a medication that might have a bad interaction. Be aware that, if you or your partner have a medical emergency away from home, you might be sent somewhere that isn't close to either your vacation site or your primary residence. It will depend on what level of care you need and whether there are any empty beds (there's that pandemic problem – people who are refusing vaccination and winding up in the hospital are causing a shortage of beds throughout facilities). Dad wound up in Newark, Del., which means that Mom, accompanied by one of us kids, has been living at a hotel there for more than a week. (We are hoping Dad can be transferred to Northern Virginia, where he lives, for rehab.) Pro tip: If you are going to be staying away from home to be near your loved one, book a suite with a kitchen at an extended-stay hotel to cut down on costs. Make sure that, wherever you book, there are washers and dryers. If you are unlucky enough to have a major medical emergency on a weekend, everything will take longer, and certain offices, such as Patient Relations and Social Work, will not be open. This is unfortunate, because the social worker is your best friend. They can explain things and work as liaisons between the doctors and your insurance company and the different hospitals. If you remain in the hospital for more than a week, you also might not receive physical and occupational therapy on the weekends, which will become holding-pattern days. Covid protocols might mean that only one person can be with you at a time. The coronavirus policy at Christiana Hospital in Newark requires all visitors to show proof of vaccination and be masked, which is great. But it only allows one person per patient per day into the hospital, which made it very tiring for my mother, who is also 83 but refuses to go a day without seeing my father. It's also made it very frustrating for me and other family members, because no one else has been able to see my father since the stroke or meet with the doctors. This unnecessary rigidity enrages patients' family members and puts the staff in a tough position (I asked several times for an exception and was refused). There are easy ways for family members to keep everyone updated. After spending a couple of days sending the same texts over and over to different people, I set up a CaringBridge page for anyone who wanted to know the latest. It was very helpful to only have to write everything once, and it's been heartening to see the messages of support. Try to keep track of important items such as keys. We somehow lost a set in all the chaos. And, finally, hotel wine is expensive. Buy a box and keep it in your room. Take care. |
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